yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she peed on how many people?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
