Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize