There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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