We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
