So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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