are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
