yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
