while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
