It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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