I look better un-naked...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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