Already got asked if we're dating
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
