yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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