just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
