He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My vagina just recognized that song.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
