Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
