Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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