i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
