If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
PANTIES FOUND
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