rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
