Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
