You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Randomize