OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
