Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize