I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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