i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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