i'm signing you up for texting rehab
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize