HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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