It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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