fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize