just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
