You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize