"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
