dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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