It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
