what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
