u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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