ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
