At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
