how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
