whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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