I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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