i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
