She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
