cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
