Duck Duck Cougar?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
