talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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