i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
