We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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