Non-Jews are for practice
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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