i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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