Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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