the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
