Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
