those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
