When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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