I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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