Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
