he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
