my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize