I think I died a long time ago.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
