i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
