Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
