I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
lol hangovers are for mortals.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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