I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
