At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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