I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
