I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
