Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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