9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
