apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
