No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
