so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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