You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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