3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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