Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
