when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
